Showing posts with label bullying. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bullying. Show all posts

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Book Review: Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend by: Matthew Dicks

Title: Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend
Author: Matthew Dicks
ISBN: 978-1250006219
Reading Level: Adult/Mature Young Adult
Genre: Fiction
Theme(s): Friendship, sacrifice, bullying, faith, mortality, Autism, Aspergers
Binding: Paperback (ARC)
Length: 320 pgs
Published: 21 Aug. 2012; St. Martin's Press

Synopsis:
Budo is lucky as imaginary friends go. He's been alive for more than five years, which is positively ancient in the world of imaginary friends. But Budo feels his age, and thinks constantly of the day when eight-year-old Max Delaney will stop believing in him. When that happens, Budo will disappear.

Max is different from other children. Some people say that he has Asperger’s Syndrome, but most just say he’s “on the spectrum.” None of this matters to Budo, who loves Max and is charged with protecting him from the class bully, from awkward situations in the cafeteria, and even in the bathroom stalls. But he can’t protect Max from Mrs. Patterson, the woman who works with Max in the Learning Center and who believes that she alone is qualified to care for this young boy.
When Mrs. Patterson does the unthinkable and kidnaps Max, it is up to Budo and a team of imaginary friends to save him—and Budo must ultimately decide which is more important: Max’s happiness or Budo's very existence. 

Narrated by Budo, a character with a unique ability to have a foot in many worlds—imaginary, real, child, and adult— Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend touches on the truths of life, love, and friendship as it races to a heartwarming . . . and heartbreaking conclusion.


My Rating: 

My Review: "I wish there was a Heaven. If I knew there was a Heaven for me, then I would save Max for sure. I wouldn't be afraid because there would be a place to go after this place. Another place. But I don't think there is a Heaven, and I definitely don't think there is a Heaven for imaginary friends. Heaven is only supposed to be for people who God made, and God didn't make me. Max made me." I normally don't start my reviews with a quote, but there are so many great, thought provoking lines like this in which Budo delivers throughout Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend, that I just had to share one of my favorites. And some people call this book, or the writing of this book, insipid and facile? Yeah, I'll get to that later.

Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend by Matthew Dicks is quite an ambitious novel. My initial first thought? How the author was going to differentiate between "imaginary friends" and "ghosts". After all, on the surface they do have some similarities...or one might think. But I soon discovered I had nothing to fear. In fact, the difference between ghosts and imaginary friends does get addressed in the book by Budo himself. He says, "Ghosts were alive once. Imaginary friends are never alive in the real world." 

Dicks did a great job building the world and mythology of "imaginary friends." Every child has a different way of coping with the uncertainties of life, whether it be parents that argue on a daily basis, a life threatening illness, starting school and the social anxieties that comes with it, etc. Perhaps the easiest way to conquer these fears is to share the burden with someone and what better way to do that then to create an imaginary friend. In Matthew Dicks' world, these "friends" can come in many different shapes and sizes and can disappear as quickly as they are imagined. That is why Budo is so very special. Not only does he look like a real human but he is over 5 years old which is unheard of in the world of imaginary friends. This is all thanks to Max, the 8 year old boy who created him.

As the synopsis states above, Max is different then many of the children he goes to school with.  While it is never stated what Max's diagnosis is, it doesn't take a genius to figure out that he has a form of autism or Aspergers Syndrome. While this causes turmoil in the lives of his parents, teachers, and even some of his classmates, Budo is the only one who seems to accept and understand Max for who he is. In fact, I originally thought that the book's agenda was to find out what's "wrong"with Max. I couldn't have been more wrong. This is Budo's story and it is told in his perspective. And while he loves Max and knows deep down that Max being "different" is the reason he has been alive for so long, he still fears the day when Max will stop believing in him. Because when that happens, Budo will start to fade away like so many imaginary friends have done before him.

The whole concept of  a child's imagination reminds me of the Romantic poets, most specifically William Wordsworth. He believed that children were the closest to God because the depths of their imagination and innocence hadn't been tarnished by the realities of adulthood. But the older a child gets, the more responsibility is placed on his/her shoulders, and the child is forced to "grow up." By the time a child reaches adulthood, he/she has forgotten about imaginary friends, instead replaced with work, paying bills, and trying to fit into society's standards. We see the beginning stages of this theory in Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend. The reason many of the imaginary friends Budo knows disappear before him is because the children that created them are growing up, therefore, they are no longer needed.While Max is very intelligent, he also is introverted and struggles with social skills. This is why Budo is needed, to help Max with fending off bullies like Tommy Swinden, or to stand guard in the bathroom while Max makes a "bonus poop" as Budo likes to call them. Yes, I did say "bonus poop". Did I forget to mention this book is also hilarious??

Now to clear up some things. First and foremost, some people have been confused as to the genre and reading level this book should fall under. Some reviewers have given Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend a 2 star rating because they felt it "struggles to find an audience". This is an ADULT novel that just so happens to have a 5 year old imaginary friend as a narrator. I would go so far as to say that mature young adults would enjoy this novel as well. I'm not sure why people automatically assume that if a child is the narrator or if the language is simple then it is considered a young adult novel.

Speaking of "simple", let's talk about the writing style of this book. Some have complained that the story and writing is "babyish", "insipid", and "facile". Umm...did they miss the fact that the narrator is a 6 year old imaginary friend that was created by an 8 year old boy??? What do they expect, Budo to start talking in flowery Shakespearean prose??? If anything, I think Matthew Dicks did an amazing job creating Budo's voice and making it realistic. And I am confused as to how someone could think the story is shallow or that the author ignores the complexities of the issues. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but I wonder if they realize what the "issues" of the story actually are. I think people are going into this book thinking it is going to be all about Max and his "condition" and how the people around him deal with it or try to "fix" him. While Max is vital to the story, it is NOT HIS STORY. Budo is the narrator and this is about his journey as an imaginary friend, his fears as to where "friends" like him go when they fade away.

I will say I agree that some of what Budo says is repetitive and somewhere in the middle, the story does lose a little steam. But as you can see by my rating, it didn't bother me enough to take away a whole star. The ending makes up for the little dry spell and somehow the repetitiveness fits, probably because it is never far from my mind that Budo was thought up by an 8 year old boy with limited social skills. But some of the things Budo ponders are questions that sometimes kids ask that we as adults don't have the patience to answer. It reminds me that sometimes the most honest answers come from small children because their responses aren't clouded with the complexities we are used to as grown-ups.

The last thing I want to point out is my love for Oswald, the only imaginary friend that Budo fears. Without spoiling anything, Budo must find the courage to go to Oswald in order to help Max. The reason I am bringing Oswald up is because I couldn't help but think of the movie Ghost starring Patrick Swayze, Demi Moore, and Whoopi Goldberg. Remember when Patrick Swayze sees the ghost on the train that can actually touch and move things? Well that ghost reminds me of Oswald, and Budo in that moment reminds me of Patrick Swayze. Pretty interesting parallel and I have to wonder if the author was or is aware of it!

Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend is a rare breed of novel that can affect a person on so many different levels. Read it if you want to laugh. Read it if you want to be moved to tears. Read it if you want something to think about long after the last page has been read.  Just remember to go into this story with an open mind, remember that this is Budo's story, not Max's, and this is not a doctor's manual on autism or Aspergers. This is a great book for teachers that will prompt many discussions with your students. This is a great book if you are a parent with small children or if you vaguely remember your very own imaginary friend. Whatever the case may be, Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend is a book with heart, and Budo is one character that I will never forget. Well done, Matthew Dicks.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Prayers For Bobby: A Book/Movie Analysis by Guest Blogger Brian Warriner


Title: Prayers for Bobby: A Mother's Coming to Terms With the Suicide of Her Gay Son
Author: Leroy Aarons
ISBN: 0062511238
Genre: True Story
Theme: Gay Bashing, Suicide, Homophobia, Religion vs. Homosexuality
Length: 288
Binding: paperback
Published: 9 August 1996
Buy: Amazon.com
Brian's Rating:


Synopsis: Bobby Griffith, at the age of 15, realized that he was gay and in conflict with his religious upbringing. Through Bobby's journal entries and his mother's reminiscences we learn of the emotional torment that led Bobby to take his own life. Prayers for Bobby takes readers through his mother's anguish and disbelief to her transformation from biblical literalist to enlightened parent.




Title: Prayers for Bobby
Director: Russell Mulcahy
Actor(s): Sigourney Weaver, Ryan Kelley
Rated: N/A
Genre: True Story
Theme: Homophobia, Gay Bashing, Teen Suicide, Religion vs. Homosexuality
Runtime: 91 mins
DVD Release Date: 14 December 2010
Buy: Amazon.com
Brian's Rating:


Synopsis: Academy Award nominee and Golden Globe winner Sigourney Weaver stars in this emotional true story about a deeply religious suburban housewife and mother who struggles to accept her son’s homosexuality. Mary Griffith (Weaver) is a devout Christian who has raised her children with a conservative religious perspective. When her son, Bobby (Ryan Kelley), reveals that he is gay to his older brother, the entire family dynamic is forever shifted. While Bobby’s father and siblings slowly come to terms with his homosexuality, Mary turns to her steadfast beliefs in an attempt to “cure” her son. Alienated and quickly becoming more detached from the safety of his close-knit family, Bobby’s depression drives him to take drastic – and tragic – actions. PRAYERS FOR BOBBY is the multiple Emmy Award and Golden Globe Award nominated true story of a mother torn between her loyalties, challenged by her faith, and moved by a tragedy that would change her life, and the lives of others, forever. Based on the book Prayers for Bobby by Leroy Aarons.


Brian's Comparison & Analysis: Prayers for Bobby is based on a true story. The lives of mother and son cross. After finding out that her teenage son Bobby is gay, his mother, Mary Griffith, sets out on a course to “cure” her son of his homosexuality. Her faith and religious upbringing has taught her that being gay is an abomination. Adding to her worry is the constant fear of her family not being together in the afterlife. She not only posted index cards all around the house with Bible saying on them but also made Bobby go to therapy to get "fixed". Bobby, being raised in such a God-fearing environment, was also afraid of being sent to hell for being gay. He didn’t want to be gay for fear of God’s wrath for “choosing” to live this lifestyle. In truth, Bobby couldn’t come to terms with who he was.

This story is set in the late 1970’s early 1980’s where the AIDS Epidemic started. Also, you had Harvey Milk being elected to the Board of Supervisors and the Stonewall Riots. Being gay was slowly making its way into the media. Most of the attention was on the negative side, painting gays as sex crazed perverts who are a danger to our children. This is what Bobby heard and saw, so he most likely personalized it. After all, he was a young gay man, trying to find himself in the world he lived in.

In the book by Leroy Aarons, Bobby seemed to slowly come to terms with his homosexuality, but his small progress would be cut short after hearing his mother's voice say, “You are going to burn in Hell if you don’t change.” His struggle would start all over again. What is not covered in the movie, is Bobby starting to embrace his homosexuality. But from the excerpts from his journals, Bobby Griffith was full of self-hatred. Now when I read Prayers for Bobby, I often asked myself, How is it possible that one person could fight against and have so much self-hatred for who they are?

As you read the excerpts from his journals, you soon realize that Bobby couldn’t accept himself because it brought him away from his family and what he believed in. He strongly believed that no one loved him, not even his family. It was the fighting, the struggling, the trying to “cure himself” and the feeling of being unloved that brought Bobby to the end of his life. Bobby completed suicide by jumping off a freeway overpass directly into the path of an 18 wheel truck which killed him instantly. He suffered severe internal injuries, that couldn’t have been repaired. Bobby was finally free from his hell.

Now for his mother Mary, whose journey begins after her son Bobby’s ends so tragically. She constantly questioned whether Bobby made it to heaven or ended up in hell. Both the movie and the book make it clear on how his death rocked Mary. Not only did she question where Bobby's soul ended up, but after meeting Rev. Larry Whitsell of the Metropolitan Community Church, she started to question everything she believed in and was taught throughout her life.

Prayers for Bobby, the movie, was directed by Russell Mulcany and starred Sigourney Weaver as Mary Griffith. In the film, Rev. Whitsell introduced Mary to PFLAG (Parents, Families, & Friends of Lesbians And Gays). As Mary listened to the other parents discussing when they knew their child was different, it started to cause the wheels in her head to turn. It finally came to her when she realized that Bobby was different. “My son was always different, his difference began at conception, I knew it I felt it...I now know why God didn’t heal Bobby, because there was nothing wrong with him.” From there, Mary became enlightened to the fact that her son is in heaven and that there was nothing wrong with Bobby.

From then on Mary started speaking and soon she became a fighting force for LGBT Youth through California and the country. In 1996, she spoke in front of the U.S Congress. The truth is, you can’t mention Human Rights without mentioning Mary Griffith, who has made it her life’s purpose to help Gay and Lesbian youth. So in conclusion, I want to dedicate this article to Mary Griffith for her work in bringing change. And also to the memory of Bobby Griffith and Leroy Aarons, may you both rest in peace. Much love to you both.

Comparison and Analysis Written By:




Do you like Brian Warriner's comparison/analysis of Prayers for Bobby and want to know more about him? Check out his Guest Blogger Introduction HERE. Also, Brian can be contacted at otherside_connections@yahoo.com .